First off...Hi Teresa!!!
Well, life moves on.
The 5th month anniversary of Genie's passing occurred this week. It is hard to believe it has been that long, but at times it seems longer. Every day is different. The 20th of each month, at least the last four, have been very difficult days for me. Every time I wrote the date at work or saw it on television or when anyone would mention it would cause me so much heartache. The number 20 has a new meaning to me. It is the date that I lost the love of my life. I would wake up in the morning and right away start the day in a funk. It was something I couldn't shake till the next day. Work was difficult on the 20th. Everything would remind of Genie. Having worked together in a restaurant, there are constant reminders of her everyday. I would spend countless moments looking at all the photos I have of her on my phone. And when there was a problem or an issue at work, it would sometimes be hard to empathize with the guests when there food was cold. "Really? My wife passed away this year and you are upset that your food is cold?! Cry me a river!" That is the thought process, but Genie would remind me to be "patient. They don't know your life." She would be right.
I am not sure why, but this past July 20th passed without all the heartache as the previous ones. Then the guilt would hit. "Why aren't you upset today? It is the anniversary of Genie's death. What's wrong with you?" My answer, life's moves on. It doesn't make it any easier, but what else can I do? Wallow in self-pity? What good would that do? I have enough sadness everyday. I cope all those days.
Okay enough about that. Let's talk kids. I will start with the oldest, Johnny. That young man amazes me everyday. He learned something from his mom that I know makes her smile all the time. He is now going to Blood Source and donating platelets every 2 weeks. Genie would do it all the time and he is doing it as well. He knows that this will save lives. And get this...he just ran a triathlon this past weekend. Not only did he run, bike and paddle it, he beat it up!!! He finished 3rd in his age group and in the top 20 of all men in the Ironman competition. Are you kidding me? He only decided to do the race 3 weeks ago and trained for basically 2 weeks. The kid is in great shape anyway, but a triathlon? If you ask him, Genie was right by his side the entire race.
Jordan was able to join her aunts, uncles and cousins for a little 4th of July getaway and then attend her best friend's family reunion. I guess she is part of their family now too. She and I also went to see The Little Mermaid at Sacramento's Music Circus. It was wonderful. Watching her light up as the songs were sung and the performance continues put such happiness in my heart. I know Genie was in the auditorium with us.
I was even able to have some fun. We went to San Jose to spend time with our family there and my 2 best friends were there too. It was lots of fun and helped my mind relax a lot.
These are memories I should be having with Genie. These things are so important to me. To see them move on with their lives as well. I cried at the race. I cried at the play. I cry when I think of the lessons Genie has taught them. I cry when they are able to spend time with Genie's side of the family. I just cry a lot. Life moves on, but it moves with much more feelings.
Anyway...Genie, I love you now and forever!!!
John
